Quote

There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Language
Queen
Hands
Stock
Thing
Queens
English
Property
Bulk
Share
Joint
Company
Shares
Gone
Joints

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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
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The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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