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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Believe
Berlin
German
Except
Learn
Language
Earth
Anything
Whole

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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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