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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Made
Awful
Never
Eternity
Knew
Chance
Learn
Language
Give
Giving
German
More quotes by Mark Twain
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
Mark Twain
