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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Giving
German
Made
Awful
Never
Eternity
Knew
Chance
Learn
Language
Give

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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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