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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Never
Eternity
Knew
Chance
Learn
Language
Give
Giving
German
Made
Awful
More quotes by Mark Twain
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain
You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
Mark Twain
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
Mark Twain
It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Mark Twain
[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
Mark Twain
The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
Mark Twain
When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
Mark Twain
Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm for it has been made to trick men into being loyal to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have been to themselves - in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
Mark Twain
Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
Mark Twain
