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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Early
Times
Language
Sufferer
Time
Toothache
Sufferers
Inventing
German
Awful
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
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When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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