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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Awful
Needles
Terrible
Foreigners
Easier
German
Rich
Kingdom
Heaven
Kingdoms
Eye
Script
Foreigner
Read
Enter
Cannibal
Language
Scripts
Needle

More quotes by Mark Twain

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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
Mark Twain
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
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I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
Mark Twain
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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
Mark Twain