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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Scripts
Needle
Men
Awful
Needles
Terrible
Foreigners
Easier
German
Rich
Kingdom
Heaven
Kingdoms
Eye
Script
Foreigner
Read
Enter
Cannibal
More quotes by Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
Mark Twain
