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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Rich
Kingdom
Heaven
Kingdoms
Eye
Script
Foreigner
Read
Enter
Cannibal
Language
Scripts
Needle
Men
Awful
Needles
Terrible
Foreigners
Easier
German
More quotes by Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
Mark Twain
Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
Mark Twain
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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