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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Race
Peculiarity
Moral
Morals
Two
Stock
Human
Artificial
Humans
Sets
Real
Keeps
Always
Private
Public
More quotes by Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
Mark Twain
It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
Mark Twain
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
Mark Twain
One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
Mark Twain
I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
Mark Twain
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Mark Twain
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
Mark Twain
The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
Mark Twain
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
Mark Twain
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
Mark Twain
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain