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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Artificial
Humans
Sets
Real
Keeps
Always
Private
Public
Race
Peculiarity
Moral
Morals
Two
Stock

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
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Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. You cannot eliminate habits that no longer serve you. You can only replace them with new habits that support your goals. Moment by moment, you need to live with awareness and structure the habits that you include or exclude in your days.
Mark Twain
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
Mark Twain
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
Mark Twain
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Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
Mark Twain
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
Mark Twain
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
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Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
Mark Twain
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
Mark Twain
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
Mark Twain
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
Mark Twain
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
Mark Twain
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
Mark Twain
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
Mark Twain