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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Real
Keeps
Always
Private
Public
Race
Peculiarity
Moral
Morals
Two
Stock
Human
Artificial
Humans
Sets
More quotes by Mark Twain
There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
Mark Twain
Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Mark Twain
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
Mark Twain
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
