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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Feeling
Idiots
Funny
Parliament
Experience
Account
Feelings
Idiot
Government
Accounts
Congresses
Congress
Parliaments
Compassion
Heredity
Personal
Kindly

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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
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