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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Late
Looking
Friends
Need
Needs

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Mark Twain
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
Mark Twain
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Mark Twain
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
Mark Twain
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
Mark Twain
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
Mark Twain
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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
Mark Twain
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
Mark Twain
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
Mark Twain
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
Mark Twain
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
Mark Twain
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
Mark Twain
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
Mark Twain
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It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.
Mark Twain
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
Mark Twain
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
Mark Twain