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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Seven
Paid
City
Cities
Written
Write
Writing
Metropolis
Never
Cents

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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
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