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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Written
Write
Writing
Metropolis
Never
Cents
Seven
Paid
City
Cities

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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
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