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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Write
Writing
Metropolis
Never
Cents
Seven
Paid
City
Cities
Written

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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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There is no other life life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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