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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
City
Cities
Written
Write
Writing
Metropolis
Never
Cents
Seven
Paid

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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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