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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Virtue
Eccentric
Virtuous

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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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