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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Eccentric
Virtuous
Virtue

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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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