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Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain

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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
Mark Twain
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
Mark Twain
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
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No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
Mark Twain
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Mark Twain
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
Mark Twain
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
Mark Twain
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
Mark Twain
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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
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I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
Mark Twain
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
Mark Twain
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
Mark Twain
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Mark Twain
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
Mark Twain
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
Mark Twain
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
Mark Twain