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Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
Mark Twain
My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
Mark Twain
The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
Mark Twain
I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
Mark Twain
It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
Mark Twain
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
Mark Twain
In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
Your actions speak so much louder than words.
Mark Twain
Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
Mark Twain
Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
Mark Twain
I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
The truth hurts, but silence kills.
Mark Twain
