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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Intoxicating
Metrics
Drunkards
Vanity
More quotes by Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.
Mark Twain
All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
Mark Twain
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark Twain
Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
Mark Twain
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
Mark Twain
It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
Mark Twain
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
It is your human environment that makes climate
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Mark Twain
I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
Mark Twain
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
Mark Twain
I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
Mark Twain
