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We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Persons
Person
Never
Prejudiced
Ignorant
Ignorance
Knew

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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
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I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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