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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Much
Ignorance
Trouble

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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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