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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Story
Eyewitness
Funny
Eyewitnesses
Stories
Spoils
Nothing
Arrival
Good
Arrivals
Like
Hilarious
Spoil
Witty

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Make your vacation your vocation.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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