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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Spoil
Witty
Story
Eyewitness
Funny
Eyewitnesses
Stories
Spoils
Nothing
Arrival
Good
Arrivals
Like
Hilarious

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
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It were not best that we should all think alike.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
Mark Twain
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
Mark Twain
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Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Mark Twain
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
Mark Twain
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It is your human environment that makes climate
Mark Twain
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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
Mark Twain