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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Good
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Story
Eyewitness
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Eyewitnesses
Stories
Spoils
More quotes by Mark Twain
Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
Mark Twain
The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Mark Twain
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
Mark Twain
The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
Mark Twain
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
Mark Twain
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain
It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
Mark Twain
Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
Mark Twain
If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.
Mark Twain
To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
Mark Twain
The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
Mark Twain
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain