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Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Annoying
Example
Nothing
Good

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
Mark Twain
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
Mark Twain
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
Mark Twain
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
Mark Twain
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
Mark Twain
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
Mark Twain
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
Mark Twain
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
Mark Twain
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Mark Twain
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
Mark Twain
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It is better to support schools than jails.
Mark Twain
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
Mark Twain
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain