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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Food
Hamburger
Religion
Hamburgers
Funny
Culinary
Best
Cows
Make
Witty
Humorous
Cooking
Sacred
More quotes by Mark Twain
The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
Mark Twain
I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
Mark Twain
Distance lends enchantment to the view.
Mark Twain
The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
Mark Twain
You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
Mark Twain
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
I like criticism, but it must be my way.
Mark Twain
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
Mark Twain
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
Mark Twain
There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain
There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.
Mark Twain
God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
Mark Twain
As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
Mark Twain
