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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religion
Fables
Traditions
Mythology
Bible
Tradition
Mere
Mass

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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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