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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tradition
Mere
Mass
Religion
Fables
Traditions
Mythology
Bible

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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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