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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tradition
Mere
Mass
Religion
Fables
Traditions
Mythology
Bible

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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To stand still is to fall behind.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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None but the dead have free speech.
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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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