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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Resolution
Dialogue
Communication
Nothing

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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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