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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Masters
Trust
Changeful
Religion
Vindictive
Ever
Fickle
Fierce
Master
Bible
Atheism

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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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School gets in the way of my learning.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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