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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religion
Doesn
Bibles
Deity
Deities
Reads
Surprised
Atheism
Less

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
Mark Twain
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
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Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.
Mark Twain
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
Mark Twain
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
Mark Twain
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
Mark Twain
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
Mark Twain
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
Mark Twain
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You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Mark Twain
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In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
Mark Twain
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
Mark Twain
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
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Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
Mark Twain