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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Cannot
Cigar
Smoking
Humorous
Smoke
Shall
Heaven

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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
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How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.
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