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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
College
Education
Confer
Knowledge
Colleges
Science
Conceal
Two
Functions
School
Schools
Great
Valuable
Function
More quotes by Mark Twain
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
Mark Twain
We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
Mark Twain
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Mark Twain
It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
Mark Twain
Never tell a lie-except for practice.
Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain
Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
Mark Twain
Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Mark Twain
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
Mark Twain
