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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Knowledge
Colleges
Science
Conceal
Two
Functions
School
Schools
Great
Valuable
Function
College
Education
Confer
More quotes by Mark Twain
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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Children have but little charity for one another's defects
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
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