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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
College
Education
Confer
Knowledge
Colleges
Science
Conceal
Two
Functions
School
Schools
Great
Valuable
Function

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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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