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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
School
Schools
Great
Valuable
Function
College
Education
Confer
Knowledge
Colleges
Science
Conceal
Two
Functions
More quotes by Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
Mark Twain
You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
Mark Twain
I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
Mark Twain
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
Mark Twain
If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
Mark Twain
