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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Doors
Saloon
Life
Listening
Saloons
Cases
Neighboring
Hear
Knocks
Doe
Gambling
Many
Luck
Every
Fortune
Good
Door

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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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