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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Life
Listening
Saloons
Cases
Neighboring
Hear
Knocks
Doe
Gambling
Many
Luck
Every
Fortune
Good
Door
Men
Doors
Saloon

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My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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Surely the test of a novel's characters is that you feel a strong interest in them and their affairs the good to be successful, the bad to suffer failure. Well, in John Ward, you feel no divided interest, no discriminating interest you want them all to land in hell together, and right away.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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