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Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Subjunctive
Grammar
Damn
Brings
Shame
Writers

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It were not best that we should all think alike.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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