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The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Report
Reports
Funny
Death
Obituary
Exaggerating
Exaggeration
Exaggerated

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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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