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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Rule
Honest
Looking
Able
Masks
Conceal
Mask
Honesty

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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
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There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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