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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Life
Lend
Honestly
Honesty
Honest
Use
Money
Made
Never
Comparatively

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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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