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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thinking
Dishonest
Forty
Honesty
Ways
Many
Even
Way
Think

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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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