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Never do wrong when people are looking.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Looking
Wrong
Never

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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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Be good and you'll be lonesome
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain