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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Used
Nothing
Good
Proves
Hotel
Prove
Boys

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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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