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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Proves
Hotel
Prove
Boys
Used
Nothing
Good

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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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