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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Older
Amazing
Family
Father
Men
Fatherhood
Smarter

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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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