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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Self
Life
Commit
Like
Friendship
Places
Hell
Friends
Heaven

More quotes by Mark Twain

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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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Start it at no particular time of your life wander at your free will all over your life talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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