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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Autobiographer
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Journalist
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Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
Mark Twain
The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
Mark Twain
Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
Mark Twain
I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
Mark Twain
There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Mark Twain
That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Mark Twain
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
Mark Twain
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
Mark Twain
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark Twain
Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Mark Twain
I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
Mark Twain
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
Mark Twain
Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
Mark Twain
