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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Upon
Stove
Stoves
Sat
Hot
Cat
Cold

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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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It were not best that we should all think alike.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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