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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stove
Stoves
Sat
Hot
Cat
Cold
Upon

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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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