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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stove
Stoves
Sat
Hot
Cat
Cold
Upon

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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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