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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Caught
Early
Religious
Christian
More quotes by Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
Mark Twain
from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
Mark Twain
The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
Mark Twain
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
Mark Twain
A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Mark Twain
Be good and you'll be lonesome
Mark Twain
There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain
When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
