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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Caught
Early
Religious
Christian

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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
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Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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